Nicolas
Siino
Professor
Young
ENGW
Writing Skills Workshop
October
28, 2014
Final
Essay 1
From
Difficulty to a Sense of Identity.
According
to James Baldwin,
"An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way in which the person
faces and uses his experience.” Identity helps define one as an individual. In
"How to Tame a Wild Tongue," by Gloria Anzaldua she defines her
identity by her use of variations of Spanish. However, in the essay "Black
Power," James McBride struggled with his identity because he was black, his mother was white,
and he grew up in a time associated with the Black Power movement. My identity
has been defined by the fact that I have had to overcome many obstacles. For
McBride, Anzaldua and myself, difficulties help to create a sense of identity.
The
dictionary defines identity as "who you are, the way you think about
yourself, the way you are viewed by the world and the characteristics that
define you." According to Patricia Briggs, identity is “partly heritage,
partly upbringing, but mostly the choices you make in life.” Gloria Anzaldua
struggled with language to find her identity. When she spoke English her
friends called her a “cultural traitor.” However, at school she was punished
for speaking Spanish. Depending on her situation, she had to speak one of eight
dialects: standard English, working class and slang English, standard Spanish,
standard Mexican Spanish, North Mexican Spanish, Chicano Spanish, Tex Mex, and
Pachuco. Anzaldua believed in individuality and her language relates to her
cultural heritage which defined her. Identity is important because it helps us
to know who we are and what we stand for in a given situation or society. For
Anzaldua the struggle for identity continues, but she is proud to be Chicano.
She writes, “We know how to survive when other races have given up their
tongue, we’ve kept ours” (254). Anzaldua
is proud to speak her native language and no one was going to take that away
from her. She continued to speak her language
even though it was not accepted by others.
McBride had to overcome certain obstacles in
order to get to know himself. He struggled with difficulties reconciling the
rise of Black Power and being raised by a white mother. African Americans were
uniting in order to be heard because they had an idea that conditions could
change for the better. He felt fear of
the Black Panthers because he thought they would harm his mother. For example,
when he saw a Black Panther standing near his mother he was so upset that he
punched the man’s son. McBride felt his mother was in great danger, because
this is what was portrayed by the media. People were lead to believe that the
Black Panthers were a danger to white people. By analyzing his thoughts and emotions he was
able to discover that his identity as his mother’s son was more important than
race.
Like Anzaldua and McBride, I found a sense of identity
through difficulties. Since I was an infant I have suffered with rheumatoid
arthritis, a disease that is debilitating. However, I have learned to rise
above it. RA has affected my hips, knees and ankles, which has made it
difficult to walk, run, and perform simple tasks. I was always told not to worry about being
the last person to finish a race or having to take multiple breaks during gym
class, but I did worry. Over the years,
I felt that combating these issues was so much harder than living with physical
pain. RA has brought a lot of issues into
my life that I can’t control. However, I constantly remind myself that the one
thing I can control is my attitude. My favorite sport and one I loved to play
was football. Being part of a team and having comradery was something I took
pride in. As my disease progressed, I
could no longer participate in the sport that helped me forget about the pain.
Once, I entered high school I felt that things were more within my grasp. I volunteered my time as an assistant
coach for my younger brother’s football team. It was very rewarding to have children look up to me with
respect and value my guidance and determination. I was so determined to continue my love for
football that I was not going to take a seat in the bleachers. I applied my
skills that I had acquired from playing the sport and persevered. My drive and
determination helped shaped my identity. My experiences have helped me grow, mature, boost
my confidence and increase my self esteem. This has given me great satisfaction
that I have actively done something for my health, not just taken an injection,
but physically and mentally contributed towards conquering my RA.
As
one lives life, identity continues to be refined and change the way a person is
and who that person becomes. At age 18,
I developed Crohn's disease, which is an inflammatory bowel disease that causes
inflammation of the intestinal tract. I
was hospitalized at the end of my senior year of high school for one month and
had to endure a major surgery. Even so, I triumphed from my experience. Developing Crohn's disease caused me to reevaluate
my strengths and weaknesses. I had to change my diet and had to overcome the
pain of injecting myself with the drug Humira. Now Crohn's is something besides my RA that
defines me, but this made me a stronger person.
Like McBride and Anzaldua, I found my identity through
difficulties. I am who I am, and this mindset has been so crucial to my own
personal happiness. I felt at times so many different people were telling me
who I was and how I was supposed to feel, it was imperative for my own sanity that
I maintained some element of my own identity. Having Crohn's disease and RA has
defined me and this is something no one will ever change. According to the author George R.R. Martin, “Never
forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then
it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used
to hurt you.” Safeguarding one’s identity is essential, since this is the one
thing that no one can ever take away. I
am more than this disease; I will not let this overcome my life, my
conversations and my attitude. No one will ever take my identity or any of the
things I have accomplished away from me.
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